“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve” – Bill Gates By: Gary Cohen Secret Formula to Receiving Feedback It has often been thought that the feedback loop hinges on the giver of feedback, you know, the leader, manager, supervisor. Most leaders believe this (spoiler
The quality of an organization’s meetings is often tied to the quality of the organization’s overall work. Like effective organizations, effective meetings have clearly defined roles and objectives. There are four different types of meetings: decision-making, informational, creative, and motivational. While every meeting type is important, decision-making meetings are perhaps
As a business leader who built a company from 2 to 2,200 employees with a business partner, and as a business coach who has work with many business partnerships for over a decade, I know what gets said between business partners and what is often left unsaid. Today’s post is
Gandhi wisdom: Gandhi showed his wisdom in how he handled people that were difficult. This story is a great lesson for all who deal with difficult people.
Are you still serving SHIT sandwiches during performance reviews? Or are you providing positive and negative feedback when it is most useful and meaningful? When it happens.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” In Snow White, the queen has it all seemingly–privilege, power, wealth, and beauty. She’s just not quite as fair as Snow White. That shouldn’t be a problem, right? Just shrug it off. Take your second place trophy for
Pecking Order The term “pecking order” was introduced by Thorleif Schjelderup-Ebbe in 1921 under the German terms Hackordnung or Hackliste, and brought into English in 1927. Schjelderup-Ebbe studied chickens and how they express dominance via pecking. He found that chickens typically have a pecking order that runs 15 deep. This pecking order allows for a more
Positive to Negative Ratio of affirmation to criticisms is call the Losada Ratio. Changing your positive to negative ratio can have a dramatic outcome for your business and your marriage.
The right word may be effective, but no word is ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.– Mark Twain Pausing is undervalued and underutilized by leaders. There’s a tendency when someone asks us a question to enter a “me” mindset. “Now it’s my turn,” our brains tend to
Is there a team member you work around? If so, take a minute to list your reasons. Did he betray your trust? What is it that you don’t like about her? Cite specific incidences that caused you to write this person off. Now take a minute to consider the consequences
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” ― Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday You make a vow not to eat sugar. A few minutes pass. Still, no. And then an hour. That is a definitive no! That is an absolute I
Previously Undetected Recruiting Error (PURE) “PURE hire” was a term Anderson Accounting leaders used when they realized that they had made a “Previously Undetected Recruiting Error.” Anderson made a number of mistakes during its peak, not the least of which was its handling of Enron. The term “PURE hire” was
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha Leaders seem to struggle with eruptions of anger more than others. They burn through assistants and prompt talented coworkers to leave for
Difficult Conversations How do you approach difficult conversations? Do you avoid them for as long as you can? Do you have an intermediary broach the topic for you? Do you use questions to gain entry? Do you come right out and say what you’re thinking? If you’re uncertain how to
It doesn’t interest me if there is one God Or many gods. I want to know if you belong or feel Abandoned If you know despair or can see it in others. I want to know If you are prepared to live in the world With its harsh need To
Betrayal at Work Betrayal is a violation of trust, which is why it feels so gut-wrenchingly awful and can come as such a shock. We often don’t or can’t see it coming. And we’re often left flatfooted in terms of how to deal with it. Our anger or resentment may
Being a rescuer can feed one’s ego. Eliminating drama triangles, though, leads to increased accountability—far better for leaders than a brief ego boost.
One of the most used habits of successful leaders is asking questions. And the exceptional leaders know what questions to ask and when to ask them.
Why might my favorite employee be undermining my leadership? One of the questions I ask leaders is “Who do you eat lunch with?” Some eat alone, with clients, or with friends from outside of work, as you might imagine. Others typically eat with their favorite coworker on the executive team.
Trust is essential to maintain any personal network. Winning trust with those in your personal network requires fous on all four identified dimensions.
Becoming a Leader Being an achiever requires intelligence, knowledge, and skill. Becoming a leader requires these elements, too, but leaders must also have Emotional Intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ, for Emotional Quotient, or EI). EQ is what leaders use to motivate others and help them work together toward a
Building personal network through listening In previous posts, we presented the idea of building your personal network through the human touch and building your personal network through sharing. In both cases, a key skill to be developed and nurtured is listening. In Trusted Advisor, authors David Maister, Charles Green, and
High Status Humor may have a larger impact on you as a leader than you think. See how high status effects those you lead and those you don’t.
Building a personal network is all about sharing. Before you walk into the conference, adopt the first of my Four Mindsets for relationship building…
Building your personal network with a human touch is very important. It is about an emotional appeal to other people–their emotions.
A common theme from both Cohen and Adams is to ask questions. Questions, and only questions, can help you overcome limiting beliefs, false or misleading assumptions, and keep you off of the JUDGER path.
When you ask questions you must go from JUDGER to LEARNER in order to effectively get the outcomes you are looking for from yourself and others.
Marilee Adams, MSW, Ph.D. offers 10 very powerful tools to improve communication–both personally and professionally by how you ask questions.
Discover the right social media outlets that you can use & when to use them to build your personal network.
8 proven ways to build your personal network. Real networking occurs when people put themselves out there–often when trying something new.
Kurt Hahn was the founder of Outward Bound. I and many 100,000s of past participants of the Outward Bound program owe a great deal to a man that we have never met. I went when I was 16 years old to Hurricane Island in Maine. It changed my life forever.
Creating a culture of appreciation will dramatically lift employee engagement within your organization. In this article you will learn how to use HAPPS to effectively elevate your team and organization to new levels of performance.
Leaders don’t always operate democratically, but most will solicit views from team members before making decisions. They may ask for a show of hands or “aye” votes. These votes often come after the group has gotten a sense of the leader’s and/or majority opinion. As a result, dissenters may not
Think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as you read the following story: A client recently told me of her excitement at inheriting a VP’s office. In her organization, like many others, the CEO gets a couch, two sitting chairs, small conference table, and large desk; VPs get a smaller desk,
Think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as you read the following story: A client recently told me of her excitement at inheriting a VP’s office. In her organization, like many others, the CEO gets a couch, two sitting chairs, small conference table, and large desk; VPs get a smaller desk,
When owners and executives fight like elephants for control and competing mental models of what is “right,” their blood pressure rises and they get so consumed with their personal and/or political conflict that they lose sight of collateral damage. They stomp and charge because it feels like they’re fighting for
Dave Balter wrote for Inc. Magazine about the importance of humility for business leaders. The response to the article was so strong he created this site to collect people’s personal stories about ego and humility in the workplace. It has many interesting stories, including some from Guy Kawaski and Seth
One-Third of Employees Lunch at Their Desk in a recent study done by Right Management. According to this study it is clear that these employees have not read the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. When companies have their employees eating alone at their desk it may show productivity
Working with many business owners, I am asked this question frequently and the answer seems to depend on the nature of the leader. Some leaders are effective at taking feedback, sorting, prioritizing, and executing it well—while still maintaining confidence in their abilities and status. Others become defensive and irritated at
Intelligence, for leaders, can be more of an impediment than an asset. It’s an asset if you use it to elevate others. It’s an impediment if you assume that it authorizes you to make as many decisions as you can. In other words, you might be too smart for your
When you find yourself in a deadlock with a partner, employee, or boss and are about to give up, don’t! It is when you hit these moments of irreconcilable differences that you may actually take your relationship to the next level or reach new insights. Stifle the fight-or-flight urge and
When you find yourself in a deadlock with a partner, employee, or boss and are about to give up, don’t! It is when you hit these moments of irreconcilable differences that you may actually take your relationship to the next level or reach new insights. Stifle the fight-or-flight urge and
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan joined U.S. Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) for a visit to Dayton’s Bluff Achievement Plus Elementary School in St. Paul on Tuesday, May 31. I sat in the first row with my wife Chris and was fascinated to watch the difference between how the two
When you make a signifcant error (something that costs you $100, $1,000, $100K, or $1 M–or whatever “significant” means for you), how soon do you forgive yourself? Do you ever lose trust in yourself? What is your tolerance for errors? When coworkers, friends, or loved ones make a significant error that
As a coach, I am astounded by the level of pain people operate under…and keep hidden. Imagine that your coworkers feel as much, if not more, pain than you do. And start treating them accordingly: with compassion. Just because people put up hard shells at work doesn’t justify efforts to
On Friday, my wife woke the girls and me up at 4:30 am! This is not an unusual time for her to awake, but it is about two hours early for the rest of the family. She flipped on the TV in our master bedroom and made us tea and crumpets. She
Most people have a harder time sharing credit than they do assigning blame. When something goes wrong or worse than expected, we look for a scapegoat (often a scapegoat that we’ve used before). When something goes right or better than expected, we tend to look inward, not outward. What part
Google, Microsoft, and app providers like Dropbox allow collaboration remotely—both synchronous and asynchronous. These tools are tremendously efficient and effective, but may leave team members feeling disconnected. The more we work alone in our offices, the more we need some face-to-face interaction, collaboration, and reassurance. Meetings help, but they can
The wonderful thing about executive coaching is you get to see and hear things that seem so totally implausible. After years practice, you begin to see where Hollywood scriptwriters get their material. It is called life. Recently, a story caught my attention about a boss and his subordinates that just
How would you like to go on a Mediterranean cruise? A week in Vegas? Or maybe enjoy rounds of golf wrapped up with luxurious massages. No-we’re not talking about honeymoons, but rather, team building trips taken by some very fortunate employees. Find out about 10 of the most incredible company-sponsored
Then there are the “Balcony People” who meet you where you are. These are the people in your lives who are constantly seeing the best in you, listening to you, and supporting you in everything you do. Heatherley visualizes them as raving fans in the balcony, chanting and cheering wildly
According to Harvard University social scientist Nicholas Christakis and University of California, San Diego professor James Fowler published their groundbreaking study about the contagion of obesity in 2007. It turns out that becoming the center of your social network pays dividends. In the negative it can spread obesity and virus
If you do not know what attribution error is, once you do you will see it everywhere. It is when you overestimate the effect of personality and underestimate the effect of the situation in explaining social behavior of others. And what makes it worse is that when you are evaluating
How does the way you show up and speak to your employees effect their engagement? This brief post will help you reflect on performance and people.
Leadership books, blogs, and journals constantly stress the importance of trust. If you’re not trustworthy, they say, why would anyone follow you? While trustworthiness is certainly very important as a leader, it’s also very important that YOU trust your co-workers. Exceptional leaders use questions 70 to 80 percent of the
Although the importance of a good leader cannot be denied, followers also play an equally important, if often overlooked, role in the success of any group or organization. We believe the strength of any team is in the followers and there can be no leaders without followers, but the vast
You will constantly be offered challenges to your character. Either as a leader or employee you can’t afford to risk losing the battle if you plan to maintain trust with those you work with. Read more to find the connections between character and trust.
When you are considering how to face a challenge regarding ethics in the workplace, don’t start with the bullies! They may be too far gone to soften their mental biases towards manipulation, power struggles, and politics. Start with those in the middle and those who sit on the sideline that
Often when you enter an office of a vendor, client, prospect, or employee, it is not unusual to be offered a cup of coffee. You might think the thing to do is decide if you want one. Think again! It turns out that a friend of mine (and entrepreneur) did
Trust begins with me. Trust begins with each and every one of us. Trust building is everyone’s responsibility. Here are a few key questions in which to start: How am I, as a leader or team member, practicing behaviors that foster, encourage and empower trust? Where am I experiencing areas
Building Trust in Your Organization – Interview with Dennis & Michelle Reina. I am excited to welcome Dennis S. Reina and Michelle L. Reina, principals of The Reina Trust Building Institute, who specialize in the development of trust in the workplace. Based on this work, they have developed a model
Continued interview with Dennis & Michelle Reina. Part 1. What has been your favorite assignment in helping an organization to enhance their ability to trust? We enjoy working with committed leaders over time that recognize the value of trust in workplace relationships and the importance of building trust within their
Interview Part III with our guests Michelle and Dennis Reina from The Reina Trust Building Institute and authors of Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace People often believe trust is earned over time. Is this really true? Is there a way to accelerate trust among co-workers? There are no
Interview Part III with our guests Michelle and Dennis Reina from The Reina Trust Building Institute and authors of Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace People often believe trust is earned over time. Is this really true? Is there a way to accelerate trust among co-workers? There are no
(Continued) This is Part II of an interview with both Michelle and Dennis Reina based on the research done for their book Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace. Trust is often brought up as one of the core competencies that leaders must demonstrate. What is unique about your approach
(Continued) This is Part II of an interview with both Michelle and Dennis Reina based on the research done for their book Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace. Trust is often brought up as one of the core competencies that leaders must demonstrate. What is unique about your approach
In A Few Good Men, Col. Jessep (played by Jack Nickleson) and Lt. Daniel Kaffee (played by Tom Cruise) square off. Lt. Kaffee shouts, “I want the truth!” Col. Jessep responds, “You Can’t Handle The Truth!” and then proceeds to tell his truth… Col. Jessep: “Son, we live in a
Often, leadership experts look at trust as in “How do I get those that I work with to trust me?” It is my contention that trust for leaders starts with the leader trusting their co-workers first. Often, leaders don’t trust their team members. Not because the team members are not
When you walk across the street, when you’re speeding down the highway at 65 miles an hour, why do you trust these perfect strangers driving in front of you and beside you with your life more than you trust people on your team with your career or the entire business?
Q: Have you written on the annoyance factor yet? In my eighteen years running business affairs at three different studios, we always talked badly about the “leader” who could only ask questions and never come to a decision. I agree with your premise about Ask, Don’t Tell, but not taken
As a leader, why should you lead with questions? Because questions confer power and control to your employees. It allows their egos a chance to shine. And you, they, and the organization will all be better served.
Q: I own and run a company, but my leadership skills are sometimes lacking. My Senior Team refers to me as “Mr. Softy,” because I fail to discipline those who breach company policies. I am having particular difficulty with my VP of Sales. While he does bring in new accounts,
Q: I am a sales manager for a business services firm in Minneapolis. I am responsible for all new business revenue for my company and I have 5 sales people that work for me. Of the 5 sales people only one is a star performer. The issue I am having
Q: I am a sales manager for a business services firm in Minneapolis. I am responsible for all new business revenue for my company and I have 5 sales people that work for me. Of the 5 sales people only one is a star performer. The issue I am having
