You ask the question: “What has brought you to your knees?” A pause fills the room like when you’re giving a speech and you have a momentary lapse. That lapse may last only 5 seconds, but it seems like 5 minutes, so you say, “Ahhhhh.” You feel compelled to break the silence so you begin to speak and it takes away the possibility, the opportunity for discovery.
Try not to rush yourself and others. After you ask a question, pause. As you look at the other person, reveal with your eyes that you’re not impatient for an answer. Share the silence until they are ready to share their story. They will appreciate the time to collect their thoughts, and you will appreciate more thoughtful and better-formed answers.
Questioning tip: After you ask a question, give pause and listen deeply to the other.